Once upon a time there was a girl who loved fairy tales. She loved to read them, to watch them, to dream them. She loved them so much, in fact, that she collected them. She would hunt for books of fairy tales from all around the world. She loved that every country, every culture, and every era had that same desire for magic, for something special and wondrous.
She had that desire in her too. She even sometimes wished she could live in a fairy tale. It wasn't that she had a bad life. She felt very blessed most of the time, but inside she never felt quite good enough. She smiled on the outside, while in her heart she so often felt like a failure, like an ugly duckling, but one that would NEVER turn into a swan. It didn't matter how many people told her she was beautiful, inside and out, she still couldn't shake it, those awful doubts about her worth, that terrible feeling she didn't measure up, and never really would.
She wanted to be like the princesses in those tales. Even though they went through terrible trials, they always held onto the knowledge that they were special, that they were beautiful and worthy underneath the rags and ashes. She wished that she could be a princess like that. Brave, strong, intelligent ....and special. Out of all the fairy tales she read, and she read hundreds, her favourite was The Beauty and the Beast.
You've all heard the tale, I'm sure. Of the beautiful young girl, who offers herself up as a replacement, a sacrifice to save her beloved father. She willingly chooses to be the prisoner of a beast in a secluded castle. For months she lives with the beast, who is kind enough to her, and everyday he asks her to marry him. Since she cannot see past his looks and other symptoms of the curse upon him, she always says “no”. One day her homesickness becomes too much to bear and the beast allows her to visit home for one week, instructing her not to stay an hour later.
He knows full well she will not return, or if she does it will be too late. For once she is away from him he will start to die. He loves her so much, though, he is willing to suffer, willing to die to give Beauty her freedom. To allow her the choice of returning to him, of loving him back.
So Beauty returns home, and immediately her family begins to implore her to stay. They say she owes this beast nothing, no loyalty, no consideration. Beauty almost gives in, but decides to return, a day late. When she arrives at the castle she finds the beast, laying in the garden, seemingly dead. Overcome with guilt and remorse, knowing she is to blame, she throws herself to the ground. She cries out her sorrow, her regret for disobeying, and her newly realized love for him.
As you know, the beast awakens, but not as a beast any longer, but as a man. A prince. A prince who has loved her all along, who forgives her, and marries her.
They live happily ever after.
This was our heroine's favourite story for years, until one day, it became more than just a story to her.
She was home alone one evening, feeling a little down as she often did. Feeling very much UNLIKE a beautiful, special princess. She knew all the Sunday School answers about how God saw her, that He loved her, that she was His child, and so on. Somehow, though, those answers she knew in her head, never quite took root in her heart. How could she REALLY be sure how He saw her? How could she know for certain how the God of the universe felt about her? She stood in front of her mirror, unhappy with what she saw. She heaved a great sigh, “Heavenly Father,” she asked, “What do YOU see? Show me, please.”
A mist covered the mirror and a word appeared in it. BEAUTY.
She stared for a moment. “Beauty?” she questioned, “You mean I'm beautiful? That's so cliche. I need something more, Father, please.”
The mist over the mirror cleared and she stood in the reflection once again, but different this time. She looked the same, she wasn't taller, or thinner, or really different in any significant way. She was wearing a magnificent gown though, with her hair piled up under a crown. She WAS Beauty. THE Beauty of her beloved fairy tale.
And her heart resonated with this message,
"You are my Beauty, and my princess. That is how I see you for that is how I made you and who you truly are. I am your Prince, your love. Just like Beauty did not recognize who the Beast truly was, neither do you really see me. You're not looking deeply enough to see my true majesty, my true goodness, and because of that you do not fully accept or trust my true love for you. Look deeper. Deeper into who you really are, into who I really am, and what that means. You will see that every time you leave me, I too die for you again. You will see that I died to give you that choice and freedom. It doesn't matter what choice you make and I have known full well you would break my heart, yet still I died for you. You will see that I will still be here waiting, no matter how long it takes you to return to me. You are my Beauty.”
And he loved her, forever after.
