Time to Get Serious

I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom.  Honestly.  It was just not something I wanted or saw myself doing.  Sure, I wanted kids, but the assumption was I'd go back to work ASAP.  Too much time at home drove me crazy.  I got stir crazy quickly, very quickly.  I barely made it through summer holidays each year without cleaning & organizing the entire house as well as taking on a new hobby...and I'd still be dying to go back to work by mid-August!  I figured being home full time, even as a mom, would be pretty much the same.
Also, teaching is something I am so passionate about, something I love doing.  I worked hard at bettering myself as a teacher, at making myself & my classroom more organized & efficient.  Every school year I chose a few things about myself as a teacher, my themes & plans & my classroom to focus on & improve.
So between my inability to spend too much time at home & my sincere love for my career, it wasn't in the "plan" to be a SAHM.
As with all the best laid plans, that went out the window! ;)
First I was taken off work & put on augmented bed rest when pregnant.  Next, right as I began looking to go back to work, we found out I was pregnant again.  So here I am, almost two years into being home full time & probably looking at another year at least.
I'm going to be honest here, I struggled with that for months.  It was a very tough thing to wrap my head around, not going back to teaching when I thought I would.  I miss teaching, I miss my coworkers, I miss the school environment (I miss the paycheque!).  I miss the independence, I miss feeling like I have a bit of my "own" life (I miss showering & getting dressed up every day too).  I miss the challenge, the joy of learning new things, the sense of accomplishment & pride.
Today as I was (finally) getting in the shower (at 11pm cuz that's when both my babies were finally asleep) it hit me.
 I need to stop whining!
Yes, I want to go back to teaching & I will one day without a doubt.  It's my calling.
That's no excuse for my attitude though.  Right now, I'm a SAHM.  It's not what I planned but it's a huge blessing & it deserves MORE of my dedication, creativity & energy than I ever gave to my job.
If I spent that much time & energy to constantly improve myself & my classroom to meet the needs of my students better, why would I not do that now?
Instead of "missing" the opportunity to be creative at school, I need to be creative at home.
Instead of "missing" teaching my students, I need to teach my children.
Instead of "missing" being active during the day, I need to be active with my children.
Why am I not using all those talents & skills I funneled into teaching now with my children & in my home?
So it's time to get serious.
To dedicate myself to doing this SAHM thing my way, the Princess Teacher way.  ;)