A Little Re-Evaluation

So I've been home & off-work for over a month now.  It's left me with a lot of time on my hands.  :)  I have always struggled with too much free time or too much alone time.  When I realized in March I was going to be home (& possibly on bed rest) for weeks or months I kinda freaked.  I was really scared what it was going to be like, what I was going to be like.
I have, however, come to realize quite a few things over the last month.


1) We have many more people in our lives that genuinely care for us than I realized before all this happened.  This realization has motivated me to put more effort & conscious thought into the important people around me.
2)I am not defined by my job.  This may sound like a silly epiphany to have, but I needed it.  I have always thrown myself 110% into whatever I'm doing at the time, University, volunteer work, teaching, etc.  I think it got to the point where I thought the majority of my identity & self-worth came from being a teacher.  While I still do (& always will) have a passionate devotion to teaching (& in particular teaching children with Special Needs), that is not all I am now.  
3) I can control more about myself & my day than I took responsibility for previously.  I can control my tendency to procrastinate.  I can control my outlook & attitude towards daily events & unforseen challenges.
4) I am stronger emotionally & physically than I thought I was.  I'm still shocked how calm I was when we rushed to the hospital a month ago now.  How well I coped with being confronted with so many of my fears at once (I am phobic about needles, I have never had to spend the night in a hospital before & no one knew what was wrong with me or what was going to happen to baby & me for almost 3 days).  I'm pretty proud of myself.  :)


So all in all I think I am genuinely grateful God knew better than I did.  I'm actually kind of glad all this happened, ending up in the hospital, going off work, all of it.  Yes, it was stressful for awhile, yes it was scary for awhile, no it wasn't easy for a few weeks there; but I am so thankful for what it taught me & for the experiences it opened me up to.